The hardest goodbyes

This morning when my alarm went off at 7, I woke up to another summer thunderstorm.  It was surreal, like one of those sad good-bye scenes in movies.  Indra was ready to go at 7:45.  I ate some cereal and we left at 8 for the airport.  Thankfully the rain had let up by then, and by the time we got to the airport the sun was coming out.  Indra helped me write a goodbye note in German for Martin and Ivanna's card.  I made cards for everybody at City Light last night, and most of them I wrote in English, but Martin and Ivanna still mostly speak German and I didn't have the know-how to say what I wanted to say.  With Indra's help, though, we got it done fast, and we finished just as the train was arriving at the airport.

Indra checked her bag and printed her boarding pass, but she was still so early that we had time to sit down and hang out for a bit.  (She believes in being at least two hours early whenever she travels because she doesn't want to take even a remote chance on missing a flight due to a slow train or something.)  We talked on a bench for probably 20 minutes, and then I realized it was already after 9 and I had to be at City Light by 9:45.  So we took one last picture of ourselves together (strategically located in front of the Hamburg announcement screen when Der König der Löwen was flashing by) and then I walked with her to the security line.

Then came the dreaded moment: saying goodbye to each other.  I gave her the farewell note I made her last night.  It wasn't colorful or super fancy--instead it was a paper airplane with little pen drawings on the outside and a note written inside (and a Kleenex tucked in too).  I had been trying to think of what to draw for a goodbye card, and nothing seemed to be meaningful enough.  But when I remembered the scene from Les Choristes the other night, I knew that a paper-airplane note would probably be more meaningful than even a card with green and gold and a forest fantasy scene would be.

When I gave it to Indra, she got all teary and then we hugged each other at least four times and stood there, with neither of us wanting to be the one to end it and walk away.  (I could just imagine Marni standing next to us watching the scene and saying, "Come on, ladies, quit prolonging the agony and just leave each other already!"  Marni has a strong aversion to prolonged and emotional goodbyes.)  I finally sent Indra off to the line to have her passport checked, but then she went through all the rows and had to go back past me again to get to the security line.  So I walked with her along the outside of the rope-belt-thingy, and then she started humming "Les Avions en Papier," which is from the paper-airplane scene.  I was like, "Oh no, stop, now you're going to make me cry too!"  We ended up hugging again across the access gate, and she said, "I'm going to miss you so much!"  I said, "I will too!" but finally I let go and said, "Okay, I won't prolong the agony anymore.  I'm going now."

Boy, it was hard to walk away though.  She looked so forlorn standing in the line with her blue shirt and green backpack.  I ended up peeking back over my shoulder and watching from far away until they opened another security line and she went through it with some other people.  I didn't exactly cry on my way back down to the train, but I felt like I had a big hole in my stomach.

I just missed the train leaving the airport and had to wait a while for it, and then at the next station (Ohlsdorf) I had to change to U1 to get to City Light and I just missed that train too.  So it was after 9:45 when I came winging into the building, and I only had a couple of minutes to get my ducks in a row and organize all my worship papers before the service started.

Praise the Lord, the worship went well though, and it was a really good service.  Joey talked today about the next step for City Light, because last week they finished talking about the vision and goals (the stuff I did the drawings for back in March) and next week they're starting the gospel of John.  He had us look at Ephesians 2:10 and was talking about how none of us ended up coming to Hamburg by accident.  God put each of us there for a specific purpose.  And I have no doubt that God had a reason for putting me in Germany, in Hamburg, in Georgi-Haus, in apartment 30 with Indra and Petra and everybody else.  I think Indra and I were both exactly what the other person needed this semester, even though we didn't realize we needed it at first.  We both needed somebody with whom we could be ourselves, somebody who shared our interests, somebody with whom we got along really well, somebody whom we could talk to at any time about pretty much anything, and we found that friend in each other.  I think only God could pair up two people so well, and I think that all the people I met this semester, from Indra to everyone at City Light, were not put there by coincidence.  God caused our paths to cross, because He has a plan.  I still don't know what the end result of my meeting each of these people will be, but I know God is at work!  Anyway, Joey had us spend the last half hour or so praying for each other and for the people we know who don't know God yet.

Everybody was so nice--they gave me a goodbye card and a book about 40 influential Christians in history, and Joey and Janos had me come up to the front and prayed for me.  I gave them the big goodbye card that I made.  It's bittersweet to be going home, because I'll really miss everyone at City Light.  They seriously have become a second church family to me, and I love all of them.  I've gotten so used to seeing them every week, and I think it will be weird at first to not see them on Sundays when I'm back in California.  But praise the Lord, we live in the era of Facebook and email, so we can stay in touch, and I'll be excited to hear what God does through City Light over the next few months and years!  Yesterday when I was in the Stadtpark, I had a really cool thought which I ended up sharing during worship this morning.

I had been walking and thinking about how different the park looks now from how it looked when I first got to Hamburg in February.  Back when Indra first took me on a walk there, it was cold and dreary, the trees and flowerbeds were bare, and there were hardly any people there at all.  When Indra had told me about everyone having barbecues and swimming in the summer, I hadn't been able to imagine it.  But then yesterday, there I was, walking through the Stadtpark in the middle of summer, and it was warm and sunny, and everything was green, and the flowerbeds were in full bloom, and the lawns and the See and the Naturbad and the Biergartens were full of people barbecuing, tanning, playing games, swimming, canoeing, listening to music, eating and drinking, etc.  The place which had looked so dead five months ago was now so alive.  I started thinking how Hamburg might be kind of like that, in a spiritual sense.  Right now, City Light is small, and even though Hamburg is a beautiful city on the outside, it's basically a spiritually dead city.  Everything is dormant, and right now it looks like growth and life can never happen.  But with time, as God goes to work, Hamburg can bloom and flourish into a spiritual summer and become full of life, just like the Stadtpark.  I pray that, as time passes, everyone at City Light will see God doing that work through their church!

Me, Ivanna, Rebecca, and Elaine

After the service we cleaned everything up and locked the building, and I said my final goodbyes to Joey & Rebecca, Martin & Ivanna, Benjamin, and the others.  They were all joking that I need to move to Hamburg, and then we wouldn't have to be sad about being far apart.  I gave goodbye cards to Joey & Rebecca and Martin & Ivanna.  Then Elaine, Kelly, and I went with Janos and Glorie (his 3-year-old daughter) in the car to Janos & Anja's house for lunch and hangout time.  (Kelly just got here last week from North Carolina.  She is doing a year-long nannying job for a family in the Hoheluftbrücke neighborhood, and she found City Light and decided it was a good church to go to while she is living here.  She's a year younger than Elaine and me, and she just finished her teaching degree this past year.)  I was so glad to get to spend some time with Anja and Elaine especially before I leave, because I haven't seen them much lately.  Elaine always works super late Saturday nights and Anja has to stay home with 1-year-old Ella while she naps, so they can't always make it to church on Sunday mornings.  So we had planned a late lunch for after church.

Janos, Anja, Ella, Glorie, and me doing "Peace Out"

And our "happy" picture! (The girls decided to
do more of a "poker face" at the moment.)

It was an absolute feast!  Anja made Knödel (traditional German potato-and-bread dumplings) Rotkohl (cooked red cabbage in vinegar), a rucola salad, and a chicken-and-bell-pepper dish with yummy butter sauce.  I made another loaf of basil-pistachio bread last night to bring, and that was a surprisingly big hit (even Glorie and Ella were chowing down on it!  Ella made crumbs everywhere), and then after that Anja brought out coffee, tea, and watermelon slices and after that she brought out apple strudel and vanilla ice cream.  It was all so good, and we had a really nice afternoon.  Things were a bit chaotic, of course, because Glorie had to go down for her nap in the middle and Ella kept eating watermelon and dripping it everywhere, and it was also really humid and sticky so Anja ended up changing Ella's shirt probably four times.  That's life with a 1- and 3-year-old.  But it didn't matter--the girls are super cute, and we had a lot of time to talk, so it was a very good way to spend my last Sunday in Hamburg.  We didn't leave their house until after 6.  I was sad to say goodbye to Janos & Anja too--they have been a huge encouragement and inspiration to me while I was here.  Glorie was also sad that I was leaving.  She tends to be really shy, but Janos told me that she calls me "Wachel" and she is always asking him if I am going to come when they have a church service.  Janos drove us girls to the closest train station, and Glorie was looking kind of upset as he carried her to the car.  "Muss nicht traurig sein," he told her. ("Don't be sad.")  It reminded me of our first weekend in Holstein when we said "Tchuss" to Luna at the train station, and she cried because she didn't want us to go away.

Me and Elaine . . . I'll miss this girl!!

I got home around 7, and I didn't really have to eat dinner after all that yummy food at Janos & Anja's.  My only "dinner" consisted of some frozen grapes, a spoonful of peanut butter, half a slice of bread, and a sesame cracker, all munched at intervals between 7 and 9:30 while I started on packing up my room.  Still got a lot more to do, but at least the task is started.  It's incredible how much stuff you can accumulate in one semester!

Petra leaves early tomorrow morning, and I"m getting up to see her off at the airport, so I've got to go to bed.  Not enough sleep last night either, due to being up working on making cards for everybody.

It was definitely a bittersweet day.  The goodbyes were hard.  But it was a good day too.  If I had to have a last Sunday in Hamburg, this was a nice one.  Praise the Lord for everyone at City Light, and for Indra and Petra too!  It's been so great getting to know all of them!  I'll miss them like crazy!